


No Longer Alone  (Shikamaru x reader)

by Mrs_KinneyPosts



Category: Naruto
Genre: Awkward Romance, F/M, Reader-Insert, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:21:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22468552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_KinneyPosts/pseuds/Mrs_KinneyPosts
Summary: Shikamaru and (Yana, = Your Name) have known each other for a while now. Will you finally be together? Or will fate lead you down a darker path?
Relationships: Nara Shikamaru/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 115





	1. Neighbors

As Shikamaru let the water run over his body in a hot shower he let his mind drift to what you were doing now. ’ _She’s probably studying. Or training. Gah, how troublesome can one person be? I don’t even like her. She’s too much for me. All I want is to watch the clouds. Marry an average girl, not too pretty, not ugly, and certainly not as active. I want a average life, with an average kid. I want to grow old with my lazy easy life.’_

Shika had been telling himself this same mantra over and over again lately. Each time he found it harder to concentrate on the words in his mind. 

‘ _So why do I care about what she’s doing right now? She’s too beautiful. She TOO active. Always studying, always training. Always determined to do her best. Never taking a moment to just look at the clouds. There’s no way I would want to be with her…’_

But as he stood there he continued to think about you until he could almost imagine you there with him. Your bright eyes looking out the window to the alleyway behind his house as you also let the water flow across your soft skin. _‘I bet she’s so soft.’_ He felt his cheeks flush even though he was alone. _‘What is wrong with me!’_ He scolded himself but this did not dissuade him from his continuing thoughts.

Once again, there you were in front him, running your hands through your sudsy hair. He moved closer to you, placing his hands on your waist and gently pressing you against the wall of the shower. He pressed his body against yours. You looked up at him in slight surprise before your expression turned to the sweetest smile, and your arms draped loosely around his shoulders. 

He could feel his body growing hotter as he thought about you. He leaned an arm against the shower wall for support, his thoughts enough to weigh him down. He found his free hand moving lower below his abdomen. Again he saw you in his mind, you started speaking to him.

“Sh-shika…”

“Shikamaru”

“SHIKAMARU!”

His eyes snapped open at the sudden loud noise, you were gone and he was again alone, the water getting cold.

“SHIKAMARU, GET OUT OF THE SHOWER AND TAKE OUT THE TRASH, I AM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU AGAIN!!”

Shika groaned at his mothers voice. “What a drag.”

He got out of the shower and dried off, looking in the mirror he wiped the fog from. “Get it together, man. You never liked her before, why would you now?” He told himself, but he could feel the growing doubt in his mind.

* * *

Shika got dressed once more in a black shirt and his comfortable heather grey sweats. He slipped on his sandals as he grabbed the trash bags, taking them to the back alleyway. The sun was going down, he admired the beautiful orange and pink sunset that was on display before him. As he took in the fresh breeze that blew by he closed his eyes to focus now on the scents it carried. The warmer mid spring air holding the lasting scent of rain from the night before. His eyes still closed he noticed suddenly the air carrying something else as well, something familiar. Osmanthus.

“Hey neighbor.” You smiled as you stood at the backdoor of your home.

Shika looked over to you, his usual bored expression, and gave you a slight head nod of acknowledgment. 

He could always smell when you were near. Your jutsu was based on the earth and being particularly adept at growing things. You had a naturally sweet oder to Shika, though others would swear he was imagining it. Even Kiba, with his exceptional sense of smell, denied any particularly outstanding scents. He enjoyed the warmer seasons for many reasons, but one of those reasons being how active you were in your back yard garden. He’d watch you some days from his bedroom window as you sowed seeds, only to find them fully grown the next. He was in awe of this, though he’d never told you before. He hardly spoke to you first, though he never avoided a conversation when you started one. 

"Taking out the trash, huh? What a drag." You smiled teasingly as you repeated his usual catchphrase back to him.

"Yeah, it is. But I suppose it was worth it for the view." Shika's eye lingered on you a moment before turning to the sunset. You couldn't help but notice this, though you had always wanted to make something out of nothing. You dismissed it as simple Shika behavior. Ever since you were kids you'd had a fondness for the boy, and he knew this. You made no effort to hide it in your youth. As the other little girls chased after Sasuke you had your eye on the lazy ninja. As you grew you realized your fantasy, was just that. You calmed down on your chase for him, and decided instead to focus on your mind and body. This new dedication put you top of your class. You didn't consider yourself a grand beauty or anything of the sort, but you understood you held some appeal as many of the other boys in your class showed a fondness for you, excluding Sasuke and Shikamaru of course. Naruto was the most open about this, as he constantly asked you on dates, particularly after many failed attempts with Sakura. "You're definitely my second choice, Yana!" he would state, unaware of just how obnoxious the statement really was. "No way! Yana is way cuter." the others would argue. Kiba and Choji were always quickest to defend your beauty. Choji thought you were perfect, just the kind of person he wanted to see with his best friend. Loyal to a T, he was open about your great qualities, especially in the presence of Shika, you noticed. Were it ever effective, you would have thought him an excellent wing man. He was a true friend in every way, as he held your secrets, albeit loosely, when it came to crushes. You couldn't fault him in this, as he just wanted to see you happy. 

You looked towards the now disappearing sun.

...Content now with just being his neighbor...

"You know, your parents should really consider fogged glass for the bathroom. It seems too open for all the world to see. Even if this is just the alleyway. Just a thought." You said as you retreated back into your house.

...Mostly content...


	2. First Meeting

Shikamaru was an incredibly gifted child, although lazy. From a young age he could usually be found napping under a tree or hiding away atop a roof staring at clouds with his best friend Choji.

He’d slip out of the house, through his window, and took the long way down the alley to escape his mother who always seemed to be nagging his dad or telling Shika to clean up his toys.

He liked to go to the playground outside of his school and throw kunai at targets with the other boys his age. Just before reaching their meeting area he saw the group was just a bit larger today. He had seen this before when one of the other boys was able to swipe a brand-new kunai set from an older brother. It always caused a lot of oohing and awing. Shika didn’t care, he just wanted to play before they all got caught. 

But no, as he got closer to the commotion, he could tell the boys were looking off at something a bit further ahead. He stood a couple feet back from the group, not nearly interested enough to be trampled by the crowded group of onlookers. He knew Choji would break away when he noticed him and fill him in on anything he couldn’t see for himself. 

While he waited, he noticed that some girls headed the front of the group, and he could hear them whispering. 

“Who is she? Where are her parents? The Hokage and Iruka Sensei are leading her somewhere!”

“HEY, SHIKAMARU LIVES THAT WAY!?” Young Naruto yelled out, much to the annoyance of the other children. Sure enough, he saw the trio going along the path Shika had avoided to get here.

“SHHH! Naruto be quiet! The whole village can hear you!” They all scolded him in unison.

“ _Ugh_ , well so? It’s not like it’s some big secret! It’s the middle of the day!” Naruto whined.

As much as the other kids hated to admit it, he had a point. Shikamaru smirked at the thought that even Naruto could have some sense every now and then.

The group continued to watch but with a little less interest now that Naruto had taken the fun out of sneaking.

Choji eventually noticed Shika and went to sit by him in the grass. “Wow, did you see her, Shika? I wonder why she’s here.” He said, pulling a bag of his favorite BBQ chips from his backpack.

“ _Pfft_ , who cares, anyway? It’s just some dumb girl. They’re all the same.”

Naruto, who stood lingering alone after the large group broke up into its normal cliques, decided to include himself in with Choji and Shika’s conversation, the place he was least likely to be shooed away.

“Nu-uh! No way! She was _really_ pretty! LIKE! Almost as pretty as Sakura! I wonder if she’s going to live close by you, Shikamaru? The way Sakura was looking at her I bet that would make her totally jealous if I were to become friends with her!” Naruto sneered a mischievous laugh. 

“Naruto, why would that make Sakura jealous? She doesn’t even like you.” Choji asked sincerely through a mouth full of chips. 

“What! What do you mean? Girls just get jealous when you talk to other girls, no matter what!”

“That’s not at all true! Where do you get this stuff from anyway?” Choji was simply baffled by the thought process Naruto was going through. They continued back and forth giving Shika plenty of time to drift away in thought.

_‘Who cares about some girl? All they do is argue and nag, no matter how pretty a girl is, there’s no way that’s worth it. They don’t make any sense. They’re actually pretty scary…’_

“…amaru! Shikamaruuu, Helllooo, snap out of it!” Naruto was inching closer to his face, trying to gain back his attention.

“Whaaat.” Shika groaned.

“Always daydreaming, Shikamaru.” Choji just laughed. 

“Whatever, are we gonna play or not? All this sitting around has got me ready for a nap.”

_‘There’s no way some girl is that big a deal. I probably won’t even like her.’_

* * *

_I don’t like her._

This was the first thought he had when he got home, only to realize she was his new neighbor. Upon entering his house mistakenly via the front door, his mother promptly scolded him for sneaking out. Earning him a quick spank with a wooden spoon, she also forced him to take a dish of cookies over to the new girl.

“Take these over there! I’ve already introduced myself and talked with them, it’s time you learn some manners and do the same. And don’t you DARE eat any, because I WILL know, got it young man!? Now go, shoo! Dinners almost ready.”

_What. A. Drag._

He took the plate from his mother and turned tail right back out the door. He walked down one street to the front of the other house. Before knocking, he took off the wrapping and took one whole cookie into his mouth and stuffed another into one of his pockets for later, ignoring his mother’s warning.

He waited at the door and before long, the elderly woman that lived there answered. She smiled when she saw him and spoke with enthusiasm. “I’ve been waiting for you! Your mother told me you would be by later with some goodies. Come in, come in! I was just about to put on some tea, would you like some?”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks.” He handed the plate off to her and stuffed his hands in his pockets, standing awkwardly in the kitchen’s archway now.

“Yanaaa! Come down here please, we have another guest!” she called up the stairs as she put on a pot of water to boil.

“Coming, Baba!” not long after the call, Shika was greeted by you coming down the steps. “Hi! I’m Yana! Are you Shikamaru?” you stopped at the last few steps and sat down, staring intently at the boy before you.

“Uh, yeah. Hi.”

“You’re cute! Will you be my boyfriend?” you beamed down at him innocently.

“Ah-aha! Yana, you’re too young to already be boy-crazy!” She turned to Shikamaru, “How old are you, dearie?”

“Seven, but I will be eight in September.” He ignored your request, his ears turning a bit pink, as he answered your grandmother.

“Oh, how wonderful! It’s just around the corner then. Yana here is six, but her birthday is a ways off from now. Yana, maybe you can date boys when you catch up to Shika in age, hmm?” She quipped, turning her attention now to the kettle that was starting to whistle.

“Babaaa, I won’t ever catch up to him in age! He will always be ahead of meee!” you pouted at your grandmothers jesting.

“Hoo-hooo, you are too smart, little one. Right you are, so I guess you won’t be allowed to date any boys, now will you!? Maybe I’ll rethink my decision when you’re, oh, let’s say, thirty-five?”

You didn’t answer. You were trying to hide it in front of the boy but you were getting a bit emotional at the thought of waiting so long.

“Alright dears, the tea is ready. Both of you come sit down and have some.”

You both complied. Shikamaru sat down and you wasted no time in sitting as close next to his as you could. You liked his little ponytail and the bored expression his face held constant. You didn’t know any boys where you had lived before, none your age anyway. When your parents died on a mission you were sent to live here with your grandmother, whom you called Baba. You were young, and not completely aware yet of what it really meant to lose them. Right now, you felt you were on a sort of holiday, eventually to return back home.

Your Baba sat the tea in front of you and laid the plate of cookies in the middle of the table for you to share. You counted the cookies that were on the plate in front of you.

“One… two… six… sev—Baba there are only eight cookies here! Mrs. Nara said there were supposed to the ten. She specifically told us to tell her if there were any missing!” You were so shocked at the fact that Mrs. Nara could have predicted the missing cookies ahead of time, you didn’t notice the now wide-eyed boy beside you.

“Well, that _is_ a mystery, isn’t it! But I wouldn’t worry about telling her, Yana. I will be sure to tell her myself next time I see her, okay?” Baba winked at the nervous boy and gave a sweet smile, ensuring to him that his secret was safe with her.

_Yes._

Shikamaru knew, he was _not_ going to like this girl.


	3. A Life of Loss

For two years you followed Shikamaru everywhere. You and Choji became close by association in this time as well. You joined in with games and even cloud watching occasionally. Though you were much more active than the two. You’d often run around playing with nature nearby as they laid lazily in the grass. You didn’t mind, Often times on those days, Kiba would join you with Akamaru. Parents would often state he and you would make an lovely pair, due to your activeness and love of nature. You saw him as more of a big brother than anything, and though he liked you, he was fair at hiding it. He knew you liked someone else and would rather not mess up a perfectly good friendship over it. 

At least once a week they would all come over to your grandmothers for lunch and snacks. She was happy to finally have others in the house, as she had lived alone for so long before. She would ask the boys what they wanted to eat the following week, ensuring they would have an extra reason to come visit her home, not just stop to collect Yana. Baba was a wonderful and kind person. She taught you everything she could to help you prepare for your future. She encouraged the use of your jutsu by allowing you to start a garden of your own in the back yard. You would often do your best to grow vegetation she would include in her cooking. By time you were eight you could already make several simple meals and took care of chores all on your own. You even made yourself income by selling what you could grow from your garden. 

The guys were excited by what you could do. They would huddle around as you created tiny golems from the garden rocks and vines you could create. The largest you had been able to make at the time was able to wear a small pumpkin for its head. You’d put on private shows for them as you made them dance and bow. Your grandmother loved this especially. She always told you to work hard and grow strong so that you could grow your jutsu as well. 

Which is why, when she passed, you strayed away from your friends to focus on doing just that. You had a better understanding of death now than you did when your parents died. The third Hokage allowed you to live on your own, in your grandmothers house, which was left to you along with all her other possessions. You were fully capable of living alone at a young age because of her teachings. You felt an emptiness now you didn’t realize was there before. You were less outgoing, less vocal to those around you. You spent all your time training and studying, anything to keep your mind from the pain you knew was following close behind you. 

At night, alone in your now empty home you’d sometimes see Shika through your window, as it was parallel to his room on the second floor. You still admired him, but the thrill of the chase had left you. Everyone you cared about just left you anyway, what was the point. Your parents wanted a better life for you, having been born in Kirigakure they knew it would be difficult on them if you were unable to become a ninja. They had already made arrangements for Grandmother to take you before their untimely death, and now even she was gone. You’d lay in your bed at night, crying in the dark of your room. Watching as Shika would read at his desk or attend to some other task there. Occasionally he would come to the window and lean out, as if he were trying to see you through the dark of your room. You never reacted in anyway, or gave him any hints that you were still there. You wished you weren’t.

You took your studies so seriously you advanced two years worth of classes, putting you in with Shika and the others when you passed the graduation exam. Under the special circumstances you were designated as a floater, learning under any of the Shinobi cells as needed instead of being placed on a three-man team.

Not long after, you took the Chūnin Exam. A curious and terrifying fate awaited you in the Forest of Death, the second stage of the exams. There you met a person that went by the name of Orochimaru. He saw your natural powerful use of wood release and took it upon himself to bite you, inflicting you with a curse mark. Telling you to seek him for more power in the future. As you nearly died during this stage, you had to opt out of the rest of the exam.

Sasuke, as you found out, suffered this same fate, but was able to come to before being disqualified.

Discouraged, you decided to wait until you were confident without a doubt that you would succeed. Three year later, you would try again, and this time pass. You had become a Chūnin for the leaf village. For years to come you helped those in need and grew stronger as your grandmother had wished for you.

You had come home from a long day that was filled with simple B and C ranked missions. You massaged your sore neck as you stared out the kitchen window. You saw the garden you had recently dug up to plant your spring crops, you saw the alleyway that you had played in so many times as a child, and you saw into the neighbors window you knew to be the bathroom. For a moment you hadn't realized you were staring at the boy you used to chase. But there he was, washing his hair. You could only see him from the shoulders up but that didn't stop you from turning red with embarrassment. You quickly turned away, as if you were about to make eye contact with medusa herself. Then you couldn't help but obey the nagging sensation in your brain that you wanted to look again. So you did. You watched as he let the water run over his handsome face. He seemed like he was having a pleasant time you noted. Then you heard the ever familiar yell of a woman you knew could only be his mother. You always knew when Shika was in trouble by the shrill of her voice that reached even your home. You watched as he opened his eyes as if surprised, and finally went about your business, realizing your little peep show was at its end. 

You waited by the back door till you saw the classic ponytail bobbing past the fence line. It had been a while since you had spoken, both of you busy by an influx of missions. You felt yourself get unnaturally excited, as if you expected to take you into a warm embrace for no particular reason. You always felt your body chemistry change when it came to him. You gave off a sweet scent in his presence, though to your relief it seemed as if only he could smell it. Even Kiba never picked up on it. It made you happy, as if it were something only the two of you shared, even if he didn't know that. 

"Hey neighbor" You were happy to see him.

Hey, guess what! This is noooot going to follow the regular timeline since I want the characters to be (naturally) older than 12 year olds, yeah duh. It's already been sooome time since you became a Chūnin, how much time will depend on what you'd like the characters to be! so make that as many years as you'd liiike. The legal drinking age is 20 in japan, soooo for me personally im going with she's 20, or 18 and maybe she might convince Shika to buy her some alcohol later :P


	4. Guess We're Roommates?

You were running a bit late the next morning, your body sore from overexerting yourself the day before. You were to meet up with Choji at Yakiniku Q to catch up. To your surprise, Shikamaru was also there.

_‘Huh, Shika almost never willingly tagged along when I would ask Choji to hang out’_

“Hey Choji! Hey Shika. What are you doing here?” You were genuinely curious, but their faces held mild surprise at your question.

“What? I mean, should I not be?” His face was scrunched but his voice held a hint of hurt that mixed with its usual boredom.

“Oh! No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, a-ha! It’s just, you remember, when I would ask Choji out to eat he always told me he would invite you too, but you almost never came!” You smiled at the memory, knowing full well he didn’t come because of your constant flirting and asking him out every ten minutes.

“Ah, right. Well I was feeling hungry, so it just lined up with what I had planned already.” He dismissed the playful look on your face, turning instead to stare absently out the window.

“Well, I’m glad you came, it’s been a while since it was just the three of us! And I’m glad it’s not a big deal he’s here, I guess I should have considered that a possibility when you said you wanted to talk to me about something. I suppose it could have had something to do with Shikamaru here.” Choji smiled, teasing you now.

You rolled your eyes gave him a lighthearted kick under the table. “Tsk, Whatever, he knows I’m over him. Right, Shika?” You looked to the lazy boy and saw his brows were furrowed as if this were news to him.

“Yeah, right.” Was all he replied.

“You’re talkative this morning, huh? Anyway, yes Choji I was going to ask you if you wanted to be my roommate.” You got right to the point and as you waited for your friends reply, you noticed just a small shift in the other male’s posture.

Choji had already stuffed his face with his grilled pork before he was able to reply, but Shikamaru beat him to the punch.

“Why do you need a roommate?”

“Just boredom I suppose. I know I’m not home a lot, but when I am, I like having someone to talk to. Plus…” you turned your eyes down to the sizzling pork you just placed on the grill in front of you before continuing. “It’s been a while… but I still miss her… Baba. It’s been years and yet… the loneliness has never really gone away.” You weren’t trying to dampen the mood, but you couldn’t seem to describe your feelings any other way.

Shikamaru could feel his heart tighten at your words. He may have ignored you for the most part, but he _was_ your friend, and it hurt him just as much as the others when your grandmother passed. He recalled all the nights he thought of you, wanted to reach out to you. But he was afraid really, as smart as he was, he just didn’t get girls. He always thought you would just latch on to him more if he tried harder back in the day. At the time it was not something he wanted, but ever since you had shown less and less interest in him, he found himself missing the attention from you. He wanted to tell you it was alright, that he would be there for you, you didn’t have to be alone anymore. But Choji spoke up before he could embarrass himself. He was relived.

“I’m sorry you’ve been feeling this way, Yana. I wish I had noticed sooner; I would have been there more.”

You smiled at his thoughtfulness. “It’s alright. I should be used to it by now honestly. I can get someone else to be a roommate, really. I just wanted to ask you first since you are my best friend after all.” Your mood lightened as you turned to Shika now. “You are too Shika, I hope your not offended! I would have asked you, but considering we are neighbors I figured you wouldn’t get much change from it!” You laughed at how ridiculous that would be.

“I wouldn’t mind.” He said plainly. Both you and Choji looked at him as if he had said something extremely vulgar. He seemed to have spoke without thinking for the first time ever and was now highly embarrassed.

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind, even if it is just a house over. Anything to get away from my moms constant nagging, really.” _‘Nice cover, idiot’_ he swallowed hard.

Choji was once again quick to respond, an idea forming in his head now, and a wide mischievous grin etched across his face. “Heeey, you know whaaat, that actually sounds like a _great_ idea. This way you can get away from your mom, even if it is just the next house over, like you said. Besides your getting too old to live with your parents anyway, don’t you think? And Yana, this’ll be great for you so you’ll have company at _night_. Yeaaah. You know what, I like, no, I love this plan. Yes.”

You shook your head at Choji. You couldn’t believe that after all this time he was still trying to push you two together. _A TRUE BRO._

“Uh, well I mean, I’m fine with that, if you’re actually serious… Choji, what about you? I mean the offer still stands for you as well you know, there’s another room available” You were almost excited by the thought of gaining not one but two of your best friends as roomies, until he shot it down.

“Eh, I dunnnooo, I’d have to think about it. I loved your grandma, but her kitchen was just so small. I need lots of prep room for all the meals I’d want to make. And on top of that, I just don’t know if I could stand to share that space with you guys. Mealtime is a sacred time you know. I can’t just cook for you guys all the time, I’m a busy man.”

Your grandmother’s kitchen was a decent sized and with _lots_ of counter space. Choji _loved_ to cook. On top of that your jutsu was perfect for providing him with all the freshest ingredients. What he was saying, did not add up. You eyed him suspiciously and made a note to interrogate his questionable responses later, away from Shika.

“Well. Okay! Uh, Shikamaru, I guess we are gonna be roommates!”

You and Shika simultaneously had one thought together.

_‘Why did I just let this happen?’_


	5. Sure, It's A Date!

_‘Why did I agree to this?’_ Shikamaru thought as he moved the last of his clothing into the closet in the second bedroom of your house. He didn’t own very much, so he easily moved everything in less than a half day. What he was too lazy to move, he gave his mother permission to just throw away or donate.

He sat down on the bed that was now his. It was soft and before long he found himself comfortably sinking his whole body down into it. His mind drifted, trying to come up with a valid reason for doing this pointless transition to here. He refused to let himself think it was really because of you. You were still just as troublesome as always to him. Somehow, he found you all the more confusing now that you weren’t chasing him. He thought about you, out getting groceries and doing other various tasks for the villagers you’d come to know over the years. He sank lower into the bed and closed his eyes. There you were, in the corners of his mind. You came into the room and sat at the foot of the bed and smiled at him sweetly. He looked to you and motioned for you to come closer, and you did. Shika took one of the many unused pillows out from beside him and placed it over his chest, as if to vaguely mimic the weight of your imagined body on his. _What is wrong with me?_ Before he could ponder over this any longer, he drifted off into a heavy sleep.

“Shika…pst…hey wake up. Are you hungry? I made some food for you, sorry to wake you. I tried to let you rest as long as I could…”

His eyes fluttered to the sound of your familiar voice. He looked over to you groggily, noticing the sun was just starting to go down now.

“Wh- oh. How long was I out, wow I swear it feels like I just laid down.”

“Yeah, sorry. When I got back from the market you were asleep, and I wasn’t sure if you wanted to be woken up, so I decided to make dinner first before I tried.” You crawled clumsily into the bed and plopped down beside him. This was not something new to you, or your other male friends. You were always comfortable with your group and thought nothing of proximity when it came to them. They were used to it. At least, so you thought. Used to, when you did it to Shika, it was always you going to squeeze between him and Choji in the grass. He was less likely to call you troublesome if he was not the only one getting squashed by your closeness. Somehow this time felt different. Shika tensed up at your touch, something you hadn’t felt him do since you first started hanging out. You thought about moving but after a moment he finally eased into you, if not considered pressing into you.

“This bed is actually a trap, I suspect.” He said to you. You looked up at him in surprise curiosity. Your mind went a little too far as you considered what he meant by that.

“Huh?”

“I mean, it’s entirely to comfy, I imagine I’ll be spending a lot of time here.” He stated coolly, closing his eyes once more.

You smiled as you looked at his relaxed features.

“A-ha, well I’m glad you like it, but right now dinner is ready, and I don’t want you complaining because you let it get cold. So, hop up and get to that kitchen, mister.” You lightly mocked his mother, thinking back to all the times you had heard her yell that to her lazy son. He was not amused.

“I think I may have just moved away from one nag, just to end up with another.” He actually smiled. Your heart did a little leap as you saw his features change. You pushed back a tiny gulp, and quickly got up from the bed and away from his warm body. ‘ _Oh, okay, yeah. So, no more of that, I guess. Too old to be laying by him now. Woof.’_ You turned and left him laying in the bed alone, a red streak hitting your face almost immediately.

_I think I might have made a mistake._

You left the room not noticing the lazy Shinobi’s face was turning it own shade of pink.

After dinner you retreated to your room for a bit of light reading. After a while Shika gathered the courage to knock on your door.

“Hey, so I thought you wanted a roommate for company? You’re just up here reading alone? What a drag.” He crossed his arms as he leaned on the frame of the doorway.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Yes! I wanted the company, but I figured I would give you time to adjust to being here before just ‘nagging’ you all the time. You know, start slow.” You smiled at him. _‘Why does he already want to hang out? He’s never initiated hanging out first before. Why is this **so** awkward?’_ You felt yourself making something out of nothing again. He’s never liked you that way before, you weren’t about to assume he did now. You mentally shook your head, and addressed at least one of the thoughts on your mind.

“Hey, is this… awkward? I mean, for you?”

He looked at you for a long moment, as if thinking about your question. “Yeah. Yeah I think it is.”

You sighed. You know that answer should not had made you feel relived, and yet, it did. At least you were both on the same page. “I guess I never realized how important Choji was in our relationship, ah-haha.”

 _Ouch._ He wouldn’t say so, but that hurt him a bit. He knew he was standoffish to you as kids. The only person that made it easy for him to hang out with you was Choji, he wasn’t as bad at treating you like an equal. Shikamaru always thought of women as something that needed to be protected. As he got to know you and watch you grow, he realized over time that it was okay to lean of you for strength and help. The problem was, he never voiced his change of heart to you.

“Well, we will have to just start over, huh? Our friendship.” He was trying to find the words to tell you he was different now. He could treat you as a true friend and not some snot nosed love-struck child anymore. He had felt this way for a long time, ever since he’d had the urge to call out to you in the night between your bedroom windows. You changed, and he saw that. He changed with you when he saw how loss had affected you. “Come on, why don’t we go out? Just the two of us? We can go get some sake and make a night of it.” He was still nervous, so much so he wanted to steer away from making you think it was a date, even if he wanted it to be. “You can help me pick up some chicks and I’ll wing-man for you.” He laughed unenthusiastically, but you were so distracted you wouldn’t have noticed anyway. You were filled with mixed feelings. At first you worked yourself up thinking he was making some kind of small move on you, then felt your heart drop as he added that you could help him pick up girls.

 _Stop. Doing. This. He is your friend and that is IT._ You wrestled with your mind over your feelings _. I’d rather have him as a friend than nothing at all._ You reasoned with yourself and came to this conclusion.

“That, sound like a GREAT idea.” You let your friendship win over your love-hungry side and grinned up happily at him.

He placed his hands into his pockets and cocked his head. "Great. Get ready and meet me down stairs, please don't take forever. You _know_ I can't understand why you girls take so long." 

You rolled your eyes at his teasing.

It would turn out, of course, that this was NOT a great idea.


	6. A Pleasant Mistake

Shikamaru and you walked to the little bar in town and weaved your way through the crowd of people that stood around drinking and talking to friends. You both ordered a round of drinks, taking a couple shots each, just to catch up to the level of those around you.

You looked to Shika with a sour look on your face from the taste and were surprised to find that he was a stoic as ever. “Gah, how do you drink this without throwing up?!”

“Hah, it’s just one of my many talents, I guess.” He smirked and you had to look away before his looks got the better of you. You played it off by looking around the room at all the people that were already half way gone.

“Hm, alright well let’s find you a lovely lady, Mr. Talented.” You scanned the room before landing on a saucy looking blonde in the corner, drinking and laughing it up with her friends. You nodded your head in her direction. “What about her? The blonde at your seven o’clock.” Shika turned to the direction you noted and saw her.

“Eh, she looks a little to… drunk.” He stated hesitantly.

“Ha! Well, yeah that kind of looks like everyone here. We just have to catch up is all.” You motioned for the barkeep to get you and your partner another round.

“Okay, Okay, well if she’s a bust, my turn.” You both looked, correction, you looked around for potential suiter while Shika bore a hole into the side of your head. “Oh, what about that one!” You giggled as Shika’s eyes reluctantly followed your line of sight. He nearly burst out laughing as he saw Shino Aburame was sitting at a table, not visibly drinking, just there awkwardly with two other familiar faces. Kiba and Hinata! “What are the chances! Do you want to invite them over?” you asked Shikamaru.

“Yeah, that would be fun. We have all night to find out soulmates in this fine establishments, no need to rush it.” He snorted a laugh sarcastically. In truth, he was glad they were here. He decided trying to wing-man for you was the last thing he really wanted to do.

“Kiba! HEY, KIBA!” You shouted a little too loudly, the alcohol already starting to take effect.

It was in that moment that Shikamaru realized he messed up. Was it the alcohol? Was it you that made him not think things through? He heard instantly in the way you called to Kiba out of the three that he would be gaining all the attention. He recalled the things the grownups used to say about you and Kiba. That you two would make a really good couple, that you were almost made for each other. Was this still true? You were still the same adventure seeking creature you once were. And no doubt nothing about Kiba had changed since childhood. He stood Frozen as he watched the three join the two of you and as Kiba took you into a huge, off the ground, hug. ‘ _I don’t know if it’s the sake, but is Kiba way more attractive than he used to be? Is that muscle under his sleeves? I at least had the advantage of height, but only by a mere inch. Does Yana care about height?’_ Shika found himself starting to sweat at the thoughts that hit him hard out of nowhere.

“…aru? Shiiika? Hey, you with us?” he looked up out of his trance and saw the group was now looking at him.

“Ah, ha, yeah sorry! I’m here. Hey guys, how are you?” He received his answer in the form of getting his own bear hug by Kiba.

“I am good man! It’s great to see you guys again, gah, it feels like it has been forever!”

“Yes, hello Shikamaru. Hello Yana!” Hinata was her quiet cheerful self.

“Hello, again.” Was all Shino said, though it seemed just his natural reaction and in no way held a displeasure.

You decided you all needed to share another round and make yourselves comfy at a now open table towards the side of the bar. Shika watched as you and Kiba got along jsut like old times. He felt his chest tighten. _Keep it together. ‘She doesn’t like you anymore, you missed that boat. Kiba is a good guy.’_ He hard time convincing himself.

With just another round between you and your party, it was safe to say you had caught up to whoever had already been hanging around this bar when you first arrived. Eventually Hinata was ready to leave and although she had not drunk much, she was a bit pink and hiccupping. Shino, who had not been drinking at all, decided it would be safest to walk his team member home. They said their goodbyes and then it was just the three of them left.

You were for sure feeling bolder as the night wore on, speaking to Kiba about the lazy male beside you now. “We are roomies! Can you believe that!? HE lived next door and now he lived in my second bedroom! It’s gonna be so much fun! Kiba! Kiba! Oh man, you should move in with us too! Think about all the fun we would have! Kibaaa! Oh man, and we can go get Choji toooo! He can live with us too.” You were so excited by the idea of all your childhood best friends all living together in one spot you didn’t notice Shikamaru’s face buried deep in a facepalm. You, however, couldn’t seem to keep from waving your hands around gesturing as you spoke. Kiba, unlike Shika, was all for the idea. “You guys live together now! Yeah, I heard! That’s really neat!” Shikamaru noticed when Kiba had caught both of your wrists in his hands and steadied them. You laughed at his quick reflexes and stumbled into him ever so slightly.

At this, Shika had had enough. He knew he couldn’t have you, but there was no way he was going to watch as you literally fell into another mans arms.

“Hey. I think, I think I’m gonna go, okay? I’ll see you back at the house, Yana. Was good to see you again, Kiba.” He stared at you the whole time he spoke, even when he addressed the male beside you.

“Awe what? But babe we haven’t found you a lady yet! And we haven’t found me one either!” You whined and pouted at the pineapple haired boy. “Hehe, a male lady I mean!”

“I know, but that’s okay, I’m not really in the mood to entertain anyone tonight anymore. You can play with Kiba.” With that he stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked off in the direction of home. You had mentally passed go and were collecting your two hundred dollars by this point, but you still had a memory hit you from his words. You could recall back when you were kids, every time you would ask Shikamaru to be your boyfriend he would shrug you off and tell you to go play with Kiba. It really drove home the fact that you would not be leaving here with him, and you would in fact have to find someone else if you wanted to get him far from your mind. You stared after him, as you were sad to see him go, but Kiba was quick to grab your attention back.

“Hey, what’s this about needing a friend, huh?” He poked your ribs in a playful manner.

“Oh. Nothing, it was just something Shikamaru had told me we could do before we got here. He suggested that we each find someone to take home.”

“Really? Shikamaru said that?” He sounded downright puzzled by this.

“Yeah? What, why is that sooo interesting, huh?” you hiccupped, mimicking the same expression your dog boy held.

“I’m just surprised is all. I was talking to Choji earlier and he said… well. You know what, I forget...” His expression changed and so did his subject of the conversation. “But you also wanted to do this? I thought you, you know, basically loved him!”

You held back a squeal as he said the L word and quickly went to cover his mouth with your hands. “Shhh! I don’t need him knowing I still have feelings for him, it would just complicate things.” Kiba, having been in the company of Akamaru way to long, took no time in licking the palm of your hand to ensure your release of him. “Ew! Kiba! You jerk! What did you do that for!” You took you wet palm and wiped it off on his sleeve.

“So, you don’t stop me from making fun of you, of course! Come on sis, let’s find you a man then, huh?”

“Awww, Kiba BROTHHER! I missed you. You’re the best. Buuut…”

Kiba of course still liked you, but like always, could not find it in himself to step in on another mans territory. At least not when it came to your happiness in particular.

“But what?”

“Well, _sigh_ , I suppose I don’t really want to find a guy. At least not tonight. But it is getting late so I think it’s time I make my way home too.” You got up reluctantly but stumbled as you struggled to keep you balance.

“Woah there, little shinobi! You’ll need better footing then that if you wanna complete this mission! Here, let me walk you home, you dork.” He let you lean against him as he ruffled your hair. You half-heartedly swatted his hand away.

“Thanks, Kiba. You’ve always been a great friend… HEY WHERE IS AKAMARU!?” You realized for the first time that night that the wonderful pup was nowhere to be found.

“Ha-ha, it took you long enough to notice! He stayed at home. He ate something gross and was extremely gassy, no way was I gonna bring him. Usually there’s no way I would leave anywhere without him, but it’s his own fault this time. I told him not to get into whatever that stinking pile of junk was.” Kiba rolled his eyes.

“That, is gross and I love him.” You sighed as you leaned your head against the beast boy as he led you.

By time you had reached your front door you had been singing loudly enough that Shika could hear you from his room. He turned in his bed as he heard the familiar male voice accompany yours. He groaned at the thought of you having _Kiba follow you up to your room. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just tell her how I feel? Would that be so bad?_

“Shhh! SHHH!” you giggled obnoxiously but Kiba was in the same boat as you, losing it in a fit of laughter.

“I don’t…HUUgH! I don’t think… HAha that having that last shot of sake before we left was the best idea, Yana!” you were both wheezing as if life had just been the funniest thing in the world that night.

“NAAH, IF ANYTHING IT WAS PROBABLY THE SECOND TO LAST ONE WE HAD FOR ME, it was definitely one of the three. NOw Sh! Shut yo mouf! Sh, aw Shika left the door unlocked for me, so sweet.” You cut into a whisper now.

“So sweet.” Kiba mimicked. “Pst, hey, Yannaaa! Yana! Let me walk you upstairs, knowing you, you’ll just fall down them and DIE.” Another fit of giggles.

You both walked inside, and he helped you up the stairs, bumping into as few things as you both could manage. In your room now, he laid you out on your bed and tried to clumsily tuck you in.

“Nooo no, I have to put the safetly clothing on first!” you protested.

“The WhAt?”

“the… hahah. The pajamberrys.” You spluttered.

“YOU IDIOT!” Kiba retorted loudly as he laughed at you.

“SHH!” You both fell back on the bed in laughter and turned to face each other.

Kiba was happy, though he knew it was not a feeling that would last. He would leave soon, and that would be that. But there was one thing he had to do before leaving.

“Hey, Yana?” He whispered.

“Yeah, Kiba?”

“You know I love you right?” He asked with a sigh.

“Yeah Keeble I know it, I love you too, man.”

“And I just want the best for you, right?”

“Yeah? Why?”

“I just don’t want you to be mad at me, okay? There’s just something I gotta do, okay?”

“Okay… What?”

“You’ll see. Just get into your pajamas, and get in bed alright? I’ll be right back to tuck you in.”

“Ah, Kiba, it’s so late! Why don’t you spend the night? The third bedroom is just down stairs next to Shikamaru’s.”

“… How about I stay, but I’m gonna sleep next to you alright?”

“Hahh! Okay, it’s just like a slumber party. Just keep your hands to yourself, got it!?”

 _Pft._ Kiba laughed to himself at this request.

“Sure, you got it. Go get you pajamas, come on, hurry up we don’t have all night you know.”

He helped you get out of bed where you had almost dozed off by this point and led you to your closet.

“I’m going to the bathroom now, and when I get back, I expect you to be in bed, got it?” He sounded stern this time as he spoke.

“Okay, okay, BABA!” you huffed.

Kiba exited the room, and instead of heading to the upstairs bathroom, he instead headed downstairs.

He approached Shikamaru’s door and knocked lightly.

“Hey. Shika.”

No reply.

“Hey man, I know your awake. Open up.”

He waited a moment before he heard a shuffling to the door.

“What is it?” Shika sounded annoyed. As if he were expecting Kiba to be there to boast that he had won. It would be very much like him.

“Yana wanted to talk to you for a moment. I told her I would come get you. Anyway, it was fun seeing you guys tonight, we should do this again sometime soon.

 _‘Not likely. What a drag.’_ Shika thought. But he was now curious about what it was you wanted to talk about. Before he could get any more info from the other male, he had already turned to leave.

So, he instead decided to just go and find out from you. He walked up the stairs and to your room, quietly pushing the door open. He approached the lump of blankets that was now you on the mattress.

“Yana?” He leaned over you.

In your new state of drunken comfort, you reached up and grabbed the figure that was Shika, or Kiba to you.

“Argh! Gottcha! Now get comfy and go to sleep, nerd! You pulled his figure over you until you were practically the big spoon. You wrapped your arms around his shoulder, and you pressed your cheek hard into his back, just like you would do when you were kids.

Shika was frozen by the suddenness of the action. His heart was beating so hard he was sure if you were in the right state of mind you would be able to hear it from your lack of distance. He laid there, listening to your breathing as it finally found a slow steady pace, knowing you had now fallen asleep against him. He moved so slowly so as to not wake you and turned his body to face yours. In your drunken sleep you mumbled about something incoherent and pressed up against him harder, wrapping an arm back around him. He was not going to get much sleep, he knew this to be a fact.

Yes.

Shikamaru knew, he definitely _liked_ this girl.

************************ ************************ ************************ ************************ 

Meanwhile, Kiba, walking home.

“HAha, Shika you owe meee big time. For such a smart guy, he should have seen this one coming. Yana ALWAYS wanted to cuddle as kids. I just hope Choji wasn't mistaken when he told me you said you liked her now...”


	7. Calm Before The Storm

You ran through the tall grass with the other boys, playing chase. It was Shikamaru’s turn to find you and the others. You were usually the first or second to be found by him, right after Choji, who was not the best runner. You’d always pick the best places to hide, but it never seemed to matter. He could always smell your sweet earthy scent; he could follow it like a bloodhound. The more your heart raced the stronger it was to him.

He finally spotted you behind a tree, and when you tried to run, he used his Shadow Possession to stop you.

“No fair, Shika! You never let me run!” you whined as he walked up to your frozen body and tagged you with ease.

“Big deal, it’s not cheating, and I don’t feel like chasing you guys anymore, it’s a drag, I’m tired.”

“Some day I’m gonna be so strong you won’t be able to hold me with your jutsu anymore! Then I’ll run, and you’ll have no choice but to chase me.” You stated matter-of-factly.

_Someday. Someday you’ll chase me._

After the rest of the group was found you all laid in the grass together. Shikamaru and Choji watched the clouds above and Kiba closed his eyes peacefully. You made your way between the ponytail and the dog boy and laid your body across them. Shika rolled his eyes and ignored you as you placed your head on Kiba’s stomach and your legs sprawled across Shika’s chest. Kiba, however, was comforted. He loved the way you slept, like you were all pack mates in a dog pile. You all napped, taking in the rays of warm sunshine.

* * *

Shikamaru awoke, dazed, to the morning light that flitted in through your window. He found it a lot easier to doze off with you around him than he first thought. ‘ _Yana…oh crap!’_ He snapped fully awake as he remembered where he had ended up. You were both in the exact position you had started in. He looked at your soft sleeping features for a while before you started mumbling in your sleep.

“Why can’t I… don’t go.”

 _‘What is she dreaming about?’_ He watched as your face turned to a sadness. It hurt him as well _. ‘Don’t be sad… I won’t leave you. You’ve lost everyone… haven’t you’_ There was no way he could tell what it was you dreamt. But he knew he didn’t like it.

He leaned in closer to your face, heart racing again. “Would it be wrong… if I kissed you. I think it would.” He whispered softly to you.

“K...Kiba…” you murmured.

He felt a sharper pain shoot through his heart at your words. ‘ _Kiba_ , _of course. You think I’m Kiba, troubling woman.’_ But he couldn’t help himself. He leaned into you and gently touched his lips to yours. Your scent filling his nostrils. _Intoxicating_.

“Ki… Kiba..KIBA? WHAT THE HELL, NO! GROSS!” You abruptly came to at the misunderstanding of what was occurring. Without opening your eyes, you pushed hard against his chest and caused yourself to fall off the bed.

“Uggh, my heaaad.” You groaned. “What the hell just happened?” You were puzzled. You were sure that Kiba had just kissed you, but he would never! You held your pounding head as you slowly rose up over the bed to question the male. You blinked as if trying to fix your eyes as you saw who was there. Shikamaru was laying in the middle of the bed, staring at the ceiling, unmoving.

Confusion hit you. “Uh, hey. Did, did I hurt you? I think I just dreamed Kiba kissed me, a-ha, gross, right? He’s like my brother.” You stumbled with your words and stared at Shika, who was dead set on the ceiling above him.

“Wait how did you end up in here? Shika? Hey, are you okay? You’re freaking me out, say something!”

“I… I’m fine. Yeah, you must have had a weird dream. Uh, I came in here last night cause…” _What do I even tell her?_ ‘ _Hey, Kiba said you wanted to talk to me, I came in here, you forced me onto the bed, and when you fell asleep, I just decided to stay here with you? Yeah, I’m not a creep or anything. Oh, and I totally kissed you while you thought I was Kiba, and while I thought you liked Kiba. Perfect.’_

“I don’t know. It sounded like you were having a bad dream, so I laid here with you.”

“Oh. I’m sorry about that. Yeah, that sounds like me.”

Shikamaru needed to leave the situation quickly. He jumped up and started out the door.

“I’m gonna make you some coffee. You stay here, I’m sure your head hurts.” Then he was gone.

After a long moment you went to the bathroom and washed your face, already feeling much better than you had. You were no stranger to a hang-over. You were also no stranger to waking and finding random people in your bed. You tried anything to keep your nightmares away, this included the occasional nightly visitor. You felt bad dragging Shika into your life like that. You felt even worse that he wouldn’t look at you this morning _. Did I try to sleep with him? Does he not want to tell me to spare my feelings?_

The negative thoughts were overwhelming now. So much so that your old curse mark began to burn ever so slightly. _You again._

You let your mind drift back to that day. When you were bitten by Orochimaru. What he said to you.

_“You’ve got a lot of pain in you, don’t you girl? You’ve seen a lot of loss, haven’t you? Don’t you want to be strong? Don’t you want to stop the pain? You could become strong enough to stop your loved ones from dying, you know. I can show you. All you have to do is find me.”_

You tried to shake it from your mind. He was evil. It was as simple as that. But that day he attacked the leaf village… the day he killed the third Hokage. You’d heard whispers of what the snake man was capable of, what he had done. His seemingly immortality. His resurrection of the previous Hokage’s. Did he really have the power he boasted? You thought over these things for many years. Until finally your mind could stand it no longer. Your last resort was to acquire a roommate, someone, anyone to keep your mind from your dark desires. But you realized Shikamaru would not be the end of your thoughts. If anything, his presence stroked the fire within you. You were not willing to lose him the way you had lost everyone else. But you couldn’t go on like this. Empty and alone. Pining after a man that would never want you the way you wanted him. After one night, and you already realized your mistake.

“Yana?” You turned to see Shikamaru with a coffee in hand and a concerned expression.

You gave a half-hearted smile and took his offering.

And as you came to this realization, it would so happen that fate would soon grant you the power you sought

* * *


	8. ShikaLemon

Three weeks of Shikamaru.

Three weeks of pure torture. You went on as many missions as you could handle. Spent nights out of the house and away from him. But when you came home, he was usually there. Minding his own business, happy to see you, like the friend he was.

You wanted more.

One night, after coming home late, you came through your door after a strenuous mission. One that was higher ranked than first thought. Your thigh was cut, and you’d had no way of closing the wound after losing your pouch. You were drifting in and out of consciousness as you made your way to the closest bathroom downstairs. You left the door open as you fumbled through the medicine cabinet, loud enough Shika was awakened. He spotted you just as you were about to tumble over.

The next thing you remember was waking up in your bed, your leg bandaged and a cool rag across your head. And Shikamaru sitting by your side.

“What… what happened to me?” you strained. “How long have I been out?”

“Shh, it’s okay. You came home and I guess you had lost too much blood; you were barely aware of anything it seemed. You’ve been asleep for a whole day and a half, you troublesome woman.” He smiled to you, but his face gave away how worried he was. “You were feverish, I had a doctor come to the house and take care of you here.”

Your heart swelled with your strong emotions. Your chakra raging at his kindness. Your scent was growing and soon surrounded you as well as him.

“Yana…?” his face calmed as it looked at you. “Do you know you do… that?”

You turned your face away from him, embarrassed now.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why you’re the only one that can sense it. I don’t know why it even happens.” You lied. You leaned up on the bed to sit your back against the frame. “Just to do with my chakra amount, I suppose.”

“Yeah. I’ve never met anyone that could do something like that.”

You wanted to be alone.

“Hey Shika? Thank you for taking care of me. I’d like to go back to sleep now though if that’s okay.”

“Yes, of course. Let me know if you need anything, alright?”

“Will do.”

He left the room and you sighed deeply.

_‘You care too much. I couldn’t bare to lose you, Shika.’_

You sat there a while longer before fading back into sleep.

As more time passed, your wound healed fast. You sat in your garden, making the same golems you used regularly on missions. Their thick vined legs and arms. You grew so strong over time, and so did they. You’d come a long way from the small amounts of chakra you could use to make them. These had become your ultimate weapon and defense. But it wasn’t enough, you still got hurt. You needed more power.

You’d heard rumors of something stirring in the land where the Village in the Sound once resided. You wanted to know more.

That night you packed rations, prepared for a journey. You were quiet. There was no way Shika should have heard you, not unless he was listening for you.

“What are you doing, Yana?” He wiped the sleep from his eyes, but you knew there was no way you had woke him. He just didn’t want you to know he had been listening for you.

You needed to distract him. He was too smart for a lie. You couldn’t tell him where you were planning on going. Then you had a sudden urge. If this would be the last time you ever saw him… then why not?

You were nervous. Instead of answering his question, you approached the male and forcefully pressed your lips to his. He was resistant only for a moment before attacking yours with just as much if not more force. The heat in your body was immediate, as you pushed him up against the nearest wall. He wrapped his arms quickly around your waist and hoisted you up, carrying you to his room nearby.

“Yana, what are we…”

“Just shut up. For once, just this once. Just let me have you.”

He didn’t say anything more as you tore at his shirt until he removed it, granting your hungry hands free reign to his exposed torso. Your agony increasing every second as you wanted more. You pushed him down onto his bed straddling his waist now. He helped you remove your shirt as well and gasped as the realization fully hit him that you were really here. Not some fantasy he was creating in his mind. Your scent was strong and sweet now. Coming off of every part of you. He was desperate to know, if your taste was as sweet.

He held your body roughly to flip your positions. He pushed away only momentarily to remove the rest of your clothing and his before beginning a slow trail of kisses down your waist to your inner thighs. You groaned at the light contact of each one and lost it as his warm breath teased your entrance. It was in no way his intention to tease you, if anything he was immediately ready to have you. But he was nervous after all this time. What made you decide to want him again? How did he deserve this chance? His questioning thoughts were interrupted as you gripped his ponytail and squirmed below him, begging him to do something. He huffed at the need and kissed your warmth gently, watching as your face melted at the touch. _Shit._ You _did_ taste as good as you smelled. He sucked at your clit and felt his body twitch below. He brought a hand up to your entrance and slowly entered you with one finger and then another. Your back arching to his touch, encouraging his rhythmic movements. You gripped the sheets around you and felt your body coil around his fingers.

“St.. stop.” You were too breathy to say full sentences, unfortunately for you, causing him to stop quickly and exit you.

“No, n-no, fuck me.” You corrected your statements of what you wanted.

“Stop teasing me and fuck me already, Shika.” You looked down at him, your eyes burning with desire.

He did not need to be told twice.

He moved up to your mouth, kissing you quickly before positioning himself perfectly between you. You both groaned out as he slid all of his length inside you at once. Burying his sounds in the crook of your neck, you wrapped your arms around his back. He was shocked for a moment. The tightness of your body wrapped around him, he had to steady himself or he wouldn’t last long this way.

But you were growing impatient and bucked your hips up causing his member to hit the depths of your core.

“Ugh, uh. Y-you impatient woman. Give me a minute.”

“No.” you smiled devilishly up at him before slamming yourself up against him again.

“God! You’re trouble.” He breathed out hard.

You bucked again. But this time he was ready for it and pushed back, causing you to gasp out in pain and pleasure.

“Yeah, how’s it feel, huh? Not ready for that were you?” He didn’t give you time to respond before he leaned up and gripped your thighs, hard, and thrust in you at fast, steady pace.

“S-shit!” You arched your back once more, and throwing your head back.

Shikamaru grabbed a pillow off to the side and threw it playfully at your face. “Here, I think you’re gonna need that.” He grinned before speeding up his pace.

You barely had time to grip the pillow to your face before your screams of pleasure escaped you. If there was anything Shika had learned over the years of having you as a neighbor, is that you were loud when it came to… overnight guest. He was just glad that finally he was the one making you shout in pleasure.

You felt the coil in your body start to come undone. You could feel Shika was coming close as well. In the last moments when your body had reached its peak you watched as he pulled out and released his pleasure on your body.

“Ah, sorry.” He gasped out.

You were breathing hard and laughed. “What a drag.” You smiled as he laid down next to you. “Stay here, I’m gonna go clean off.”

You made your way to the bathroom, legs shaky, and cleaned yourself with a warm washcloth. You took a clean one to Shika but found he had already passed out. You laughed and left the cloth sitting on top on him. _‘Lazy ninja.’_ You thought. Though from how hard he had just worked you couldn’t help but feel the contradiction.

You dressed yourself once more and left him there asleep. It was nice, even if it was meaningless. You had to find the power you wanted.

_______________

Hi sorry guys, this is my literal first ever lemon, sorry if its wack af, i just jumped into it lol 


	9. Formation! Recovery Team

You'd met with Sasuke only once, the night he confirmed you would be leaving. He'd stopped you on your way home from a mission, appearing in a secluded part of town. You were curious, albeit cautious, since he had never had any interest in talking to you all the years you had known him. 

He reluctantly told you that a the Sound Four of Orochimaru's clan had contacted him with an offer of great power, and that they asked him to extend the offer to you as well. He stated that they would be collecting him that night, with or without you.

* * *

After you packed your bags and snuck out, you couldn't help feeling guilty for using Shikamaru the way you had. Even if it had meant something to you, even if you felt connected to him in that one moment, it amounted to nothing in the end. 

You watched, hidden from a distance as Sasuke spoke to Sakura. Watched as she pleaded and begged him to stay, watched the tears that came rolling down her face. You felt a pain in your heart for your old classmate. You'd gone on a couple missions with the two of them and Naruto. You could always relate to her admiration of the ninja she pined after. You'd even shared secrets with one another over the boys that occupied your thoughts. It was a strange thing to see, her crying over him. When you were doing the same thing, only, you had no one to cry over you. No one to beg you to stay. ' _Would I?'_ you wondered. 

You didn't have much time to think it over as you saw, in the blink of an eye, Sasuke knock Sakura out, after thanking her for everything. Maybe she did mean something to him after all. 

"You can come out now. Let's get going." he spoke to you, as if annoyed you had been there to watch the exchange. Without waiting on you, he started out of the village. 

You followed in silence until the Sound Four appeared to escort you to Orochimaru.

* * *

Shikamaru awoke, peacefully and convinced, that the life he had tried to avoid for so long had actually fallen into place. He thought about the way your body fit his and how comfortable it had been. He thought about how insane he now seemed, having avoided your energetic and chaotic beauty most of his life till now. He thought everything was perfect until he realized the woman engulfing his thoughts was not in the bed next to him.

_'Did she go back to her room? That seems an odd thing to do.'_ He was not convinced of that possibility and was proven correct when he found your room empty. There was no sign of you in any of the rooms. He traced through your room once more, now taking in details he hadn't taken note of the first time. _'Some clothes are missing, though that's usual. She hasn't been informing of every mission she's gone on lately, but why would she leave this time without saying a word?'_ As he made his way back down the stairs his thoughts were interrupted by an aggressive knock at the door. 

"Shikamaru! Open up! Are you home or what!?" _Naruto._

He heard him before he saw him behind the door, along with a very worried Sakura. Naruto spoke up again before giving him time to ask.

"We have to go. Old Lady Tsunade has put you in charge of bringing back Sasuke and we have to go now before it's too late!" Naruto turned tail to start off towards the village gates before a distraught Sakura stopped him by the collar. "Naruto, I was given orders to inform him, not you. YOU have yet to pass even your Chunin exam and have no authority here no matter how much you act it! You promised me you would bring him back. I need you to grow up right now or how can I believe you!?" she turned back to Shika, who stood annoyed and confused by the lack of information being presented. "Shika, Sasuke left the village last night. I tried to stop him." tearing up from having to regurgitate the story once more, she continued. "I tried to stop him, and I failed. He wouldn't listen to me. He's going to Orochimaru. He wants more power to avenge his clan and kill his brother. I pleaded with Lady Tsunade to allow a team to retrieve him before further... action has to be taken. She said you would lead this team of your choosing to bring him home. Please Shikamaru."

Shika was off put by the sudden request, what a drag it would be, after the night spent with you to suddenly have to leave on a mission. And so immediate, he would have no time to inform you, wherever you went.

"Okay... uh, well would you tell Yana that I'm leaving? She wasn't here where I woke up this morning and it's kinda important that she knows I didn't just leave."

Sakura looked down at the ground, avoiding eye contact with him. Even Naruto seemed stumped on what to say for a moment. 

"Well... you see... about that." with new tear filled eyes she looked reluctantly at Shika. "Last night, when I was pleading with Sasuke, there was someone else there. They must have thought I was too distracted by him to bother noticing them. But, I... I know that chakra, Shika, and I believe Yana isn't here..."

Shikamaru felt his breath catch, knowing what she intended to say. _'No. This can't be right, why would she join Orochimaru?'_

"No... We were just together last night. Why would she leave me? The village. Why would she leave the village?" for all Shikamaru's intelligence he could't understand why you would do this. _'What did I do wrong?'_ He could no longer stand around thinking it over. This time he didn't want to. 

"Let's go, Naruto. We need to go to Choji's house."

* * *

As Shikamaru gathered at the gates with his newly assembled team, he could feel the weight of the world that was bearing down on him now. 

Choji, Neji, Naruto, Kiba and Akamaru stood before him. 

"We've been on a lot of missions. Many important ones for the safety of our village. This mission is one of recovery. To stop two members of our leaf village from defecting. I've been given authority to oversee this mission and have chosen you members to join me. If we fail, the Hokage will have no choice but to assign the Anbu to take over. We cannot allow this to happen. Sasuke, last of the Uchiha clan..."

He looked over to Kiba and Choji and he continued to speak. "... and refuge of The Village Hidden in The Mist, adopted member of our Leaf village, Yana." he watched as the faces of those two twisted into one of shock and fear. 

"What!? No! That can't be right! Are you certain!?" Kiba was breathing heavy and shaking his head in denial.

"That's why I need you two specifically on this mission. To be perfectly clear, I don't really like Sasuke. But he is a member of this village. And I will do what I can to help bring him back. But when it comes to Yana, I know I speak for all three of us when I say, we will stop at nothing to keep her safe. What we are about to do, I have no idea what to expect, honestly. But the more people we have that care for her the better our chances can be of bringing her back. That, I can only hope."

With determination the party departed from the village in high hopes. 


	10. No Longer Alone.

It was dark inside the basket they placed you in to carry you. 

You couldn't see your own body, but you could feel it burning from the inside-out. Every pulse from your heart sent pain shooting through your veins. You felt as if you were being torn into pieces from the Mind Awakening pill they gave both you and Sasuke. 

_'Sasuke...'_ you remembered as he got in his own basket. _'Are you in as much pain as I am?'_

You tried to call out but inside the basket now felt like a limitless void of space, your voice lost against its unseen walls. You felt your old curse mark pull across your skin, burning as it went. 

_'Before we go any further I'm afraid you must die, just this once.' 'Yeah... no kidding.'_ you thought.

* * *

It felt as if you'd spent a lifetime inside your cocoon. Body broken down and reformed, stronger than it had been before. the pain pulled back till it ended at the nape of your neck through your curse mark. 

When you emerged from the basket you were left in a field. Checking your surroundings you noticed the empty container next to yours, the same that held Sasuke. 

_'Guess he prefers to travel alone.'_ you inhaled as you could feel the difference in your body. The grass below you swayed against the wind and towards you, as if drawn to you now. You were nearly distracted by it just enough to miss the slurred voice that called out to you. 

"-ana! YaAanAA!" you turned to see the leaf ninja Rock Lee. You'd been on a couple missions with him in the past. He was nice, but right now he seemed, off. You watched as he swayed in the wind like a leaf, avoiding attacks from a white haired man you didn't recognize. You could see he was someone from the sound village by his clothing. 

"Yana! I've come to _*hup*_ assist you back to the village! Please come with me now!"

 _'Is he drunk? More than that... did he just use a contraction while speaking?'_ You had never in your time knowing him heard him speak or act this way. But the man keeping him from closing the distance between you seemed to have trouble now with Rock Lee turned degenerate, and there would be no better time to slip away.

"Yana! You are going the wrong way! Shikamaru is looking for you, of this I'm mooost sure!" his words faltered you for a moment. _'He's here, for me? No, that can't be right.'_ You didn't dare turn to look behind you. Fear filled you as you thought about what he would think to see you defecting over. You shook your head of these thoughts, they didn't matter now, and continued out of the clearing and towards the sound village. 

You weren't moving at the same pace as Sasuke, that much you were sure. You could sense his chakra fading away ahead of you the further he'd gotten. You sensed someone following after him as well. You considered taking a longer path, to avoid converging with them should a fight arise. If you could mask your chakra it would be hard for others following after to be drawn to anything other than the two ninja ahead. 

Once you reached the tree line you put your new power to the test and focused on creating a golem. To your surprise, with half your usual effort, you created a beast much larger than you ever had before. You dismantled it and tried again, this time with your full effort, a massive golem of earth sprung forth. Its mass pushing on the surrounding trees causing them to creak and bend against their will. The vines formed a muscled body of a boar, its tusks large jagged tree trunks. It looked down upon you with its black earthen rock eyes. A forced, dusty wind blew through its nostrils, awaiting a command. 

You exhaled a laugh, your new power was no joke. The chakra you shared with the beast was immense. You dismissed him and watched as his body shattered into a thousand smaller critters, all made from the body of trees, vines and earthen materials, disappearing back into the dirt.

You walked on, around the path of the other two. You stopped when you felt a huge collision of energy far through the trees to your right, and then it started to rain. You'd been so distracted by the others that you didn't notice anyone had been following far behind you, trying to close the gap. Only when they were visible through the trees were you alerted to them. Without turning to glance behind you sprung two small golems from the earth as a warning they shouldn't continue pursuit. 

"Yana." You heard them call out through the rain, a familiar voice. 

"Why are you here, Shika? Go home." your eyes were in a fixed position on the trees ahead of you. On the path to Orochimaru. 

"I'm not going anywhere without you, Yana." His voice was heavy and tired, but resolute. He must have been part of the reason your previous party was no longer with you. _'Did he fight just to continue on to find me? How...'_

"How did you find me Shika? I thought you and the others would be too distracted by Sasuke's chakra. I even hid mine and took the long way around."

"You can't run from me. I could track you by your scent alone. It's sweet, did you know that? ...The rain masks it pretty well though, its fortunate I found you... before it started pouring." Even with his calm aloof voice, his disposition was given away by the silent gasps for air he was taking. He must have been running nonstop. 

"Then I guess, I'll have to lose you now in the rain, to be rid of you." You moved to keep walking, but found your body was frozen in place. There was no way he had enough chakra now to keep you here for long. "Let me go, Shikamaru. I don't belong in the leaf village. My life has been filled with nothing but loss and sadness. My parents, my grandmother. If I stay here any longer... it will be my friends next. Everything I care about, because I'm weak. Too weak to stop these things. But Orochimaru, I know he can give me power. He's done it. You heard the rumors, that he brought back the past Hokages when he attacked the Leaf. I'm going to make him show me this power."

The rain above was heavy now. You nearly had to shout to be heard through it. Your hair and clothes soaked through. It was cold. It, along with the memories of your long gone family made you suddenly feel more empty than you ever had. 

There was silence behind you, though you could tell from his shadow hold that he was still there. A moment more and you could feel your body move on its own to face him. 

Your eyes met, and you could see the red tint in them as he looked to you. You examined his body, a bit battered and it looked as thought one of his fingers were broken.

"Yana... You don't need that power. You have faced loss, and I... I should have been there for you. I wanted to be. But I'm a fool. I tried to keep my distance, and that was wrong."

"Let me go." you barely heard the words he spoke, not because of the rain, but because you had mentally prepared yourself for whatever he would say. You were convinced he would say anything to keep you from defecting. The only real reason he was here was to stop you, to keep the Anbu from having more work. You were just another mission.

"I can't do that Yana. Even if it kills me, even if all the chakra in my body is taken, as troublesome as it would be, I will hold you here until you come home." His voice was still calm and collected as always. You felt a sting in your heart as he said he would die to keep you here. You just couldn't understand, but this time it made you incredibly angry.

"Even if it kills you, huh?" Your mind was clouded from the wavering resolve in your mind. "I don't need to move any more to make golems. You will release me." As you spoke two more beasts in addition to the ones standing in wait arose from the ground. They charged for the ponytailed male and he was forced to break contact to dodge their swings. You took this chance to continue running through the trees to escape. 

You could feel your chakra weaken, he must have taken care of at least two of them. The further you ran the weaker the golems would become as well. Once again you found yourself stopped dead in your tracks by a long shadow. 

"Shika, how long will you be able to play this game? I have more chakra than you'd have at full strength any day." You smiled, despite yourself. When you were kids he was always the strong one. Always the smart one. Always won at all the game you'd play together...

"Is that why you're holding back? Is this a game to you? Those golems were weak, even compared to your previous strength." You could hear him closing the gap between you. When you could feel him mere feet away you sighed.

"Let me go, Shika. I won't ask you again." You whispered.

"No. I won't-"

Before he could say any more, he felt a strain on his shadow possession. The member of the sound village he had contended with before to reach you was powerful, enough to overcome his Jutsu as well, but this was a different strength. Even with his body significantly weaker, he could feel his possession would have next to no chance of holding you at his full power. He flinched as he watched you easily take your steps to leave. 

"I'm leaving now."

His jutsu dropped as he sank to the ground weak and helpless. 

Then you felt him, his weary arms wrapped around your waist as his body dragged behind. 

"Dammit, Yana." was all he could get out. 

_'Why won't he just let me go?... make him.'_

You pulled away and kicked him back by the shoulder. He lay face up in the mud, breathing hard. You watched as he slowly pulled himself up and grabbed at the leg of your clothing. 

"...kill me."

"What?" you looked down at him in surprise. "What did you say?"

"You'll have to kill me. I won't stop."

You felt the anger in you rise once more as you broke free of his grip. He stood weakly and walked towards you, slow as death. You pulled back your arm and punched him in the chest, watching as he fell over. 

This was unlike him. He was lazy by nature, you knew this growing up with him. Never had he gone out of his way to do anything so strenuous.

 _Confusion. Anger._

_Why? Why go through all this effort, now?'_

You felt your body grown hot and your curse mark start to burn furiously. From the corner of your eye you could see the black vines tattooed on your skin inch there way around you, wrapping you in a stinging embrace. The sclera of your eyes darkened to a black void. 

The ground around him erupted in roots that slowly crept over him, to hold him down. 

"This... won't stop me. You will have to kill me. When these roots let up, even if you're long gone, I will follow after you. I will find you, Yana."

"Shut up! Shut Up, Shut up SHUT UP!" in a fit of rage you motioned and the roots and vines threw Shika. His back colliding into a large tree trunk with a soft crack you could hear cut through the rain. You watched as his body fell to the ground. Your vines caught him to stop the impact with the ground, and placed him with his back against the tree. You saw the light traces of blood that were starting to pool at the corners of his mouth as he tried to speak. Your chakra flared and a forest of summoned golemed beasts shook from the earth, surrounding you and Shikamaru, awaiting your instruction. 

A moment of silence and then he spoke.

"I...I've been losing you my whole life. I wanted boring. I wanted plane and ordinary. You've always been anything but those things." He looked away from you and up at the dark rain clouds above. "I stared at the clouds for so long. It's one of my favorite things to do, you know. I never wanted you because you wouldn't just look at them. Just calm down. Always on the go. Then over time I realized I wasn't looking at the clouds as much any more either, because I was too busy looking at you. You're were like a cloud, you know? You went wherever life took you. Not a care in the world." he coughed and wiped the rain from his face. "Then I saw. I watched as you darkened like the clouds above us now. I saw you fill with some unseen worry and pain." He looked down and back at you. His face looked so relaxed even in his position when he looked at you. 

"I wanted to reach out to you, over and over again. But who am I, to a cloud?"

"Then, I thought, I would have a chance with you after last night. That things would just fall into place. But that's not how it works, is it? If you want something, really want it, then you have to work for it."

His body shook profusely as he pulled himself up from the ground, using the tree for support. He wrapped his arm across his ribcage as if to stop the shaking and the pain. He walked slowly back over to where you stood, motionless, staring straight ahead. The green beasts you had created huffed and snorted, trampling the earth around you, but none dare touch the ninja without permission. 

When he finally reached you, standing close enough to feel his ragged breath on your face, you couldn't force yourself to do him anymore harm. Defeated, you leaned your head against his chest and could feel the rhythmic pulsing of his heart. It was wild and alive compared to his outward appearance. You cried in silence, as he wrapped his arms around you. You could feel his muscles tremble from the pain but he did not let up. As gently as you could, you reached your arms up around him in return. 

He whispered to you through the rain that had lightened to a soft drizzle, "Yana. I will not let you go again. Because I need you. I will not let you feel the pain of loss by yourself. Because I am here with you. You are _no longer alone_. Because I love you. Please. Please stay with me."


End file.
